PILL THE DOG

 

1) MARKET ME:        I've been asked to say a few words on how I got to be so famous. I could start with all that childhood BS or go straight to some Holden Caufield kind of crap, but the truth is, I did it all myself....         read more


2) ALARM:        I met the first love of my life at a dinner party in my house. This was back when the center of the universe revolved around me. I owned a flat in San Francisco. Always 'own' your home on the surveys.....         read more


3) LINK-UP:        “Maybe all that 'gonna find my soul mate' stuff is a delusional fantasy." Thus spoke ZaraTushka. We called him the Dark One because he had a way of putting a hard core reality spin on everything....         read more


4) DOGPILE:        When it comes to sex, D'Arcy is the poster boy of Sin for the Christian Right. He is also my best friend. He's told me stories of wild encounters in bus station bathrooms, swinging ads he answered....         read more


5) MAKITA:       I sit at the bar next to D'Arcy, square of jaw, thick lipped and could be the most handsome guy in the world but instead has decided to bloat up with alcohol and bitterness anger and disgust with life....         read more


6) OH DEAR! WHAT WILL THE FUTURE BE?:        We metastasized to California, moved as a disease from one part of the country to another. The ancient Greeks took great care to preserve their laws. The laws were written on scrolls and carefully stored in earthen jars, entombed in the back of dry caves.....         read more


7) HOLIEST OF HOLY:        Back at the warehouse: It's our game to see who can show up the most hung-over, fucked-up, or at least appear dragged out of bed unkempt and uncombed. Tushka is the first to stumble out of the truck clutching a Red Bull in one hand....         read more


8) BUDDHA HEADBONGER:        “Don't even try and get into my head." D'Arcy shouts at me as I ease into a booth at Lucky 13 with some weird microbrew in hand, something called Devil Dog or Hot Ass Tamale. Who comes up with the names of these damn things?....         read more


9) SHADOW WARRIORS:        The City is connected through a series of back alleyways and underground tunnels used only by those of us who live on the other side of the mirror, who drive delivery trucks after-hours, or in the twilight of morning, who operate in the shadow of daylight.....         read more


10) WHEN KIDS GO BAD IN THE PERFECT FAMILY:        My childhood was perfect. My parents were the perfect parents. Nothing can be blamed on them. All my childhood memories are perfect idyllic moments. They loved me totally and completely. They devoted their life to me. My father would rush home from work to coddle me on his lap. My mother never let my feet touch the ground....         read more


11) BAR WHORE:        I'm a small town drunk, and I spend most of my days trying to remain cool while others buy my drinks, acting out a moment of sorrow for some dead dog that was crushed beneath the wheels of a SUV....         read more


12) CROSSROADS SALOON:        The Crossroads Saloon on a Friday night. Young Turks and Hot Tuna, could be any eastside bar with the cowboys, Shania Twain video, beers and the cowboy bartenders serving up the cold brews. "Desperado" playing on the juke ....         read more


13) PASTA DE LA NOCHE:       Mauvy Turina was impossible. She berated me and did everything she could to humiliate me in public. Nothing I did was right. She spent hours in meditation and yoga posture, but what she really needed was hours in a kick boxing class....         read more


14) WHEN I CAN’T SLEEP . . . :        When I can’t sleep, I get up in the night and either stare into darkness or scrutinize my own body until I again believe I am real and can fade into dreams. Sometimes the quiet petrifies my soul....         read more